Darling, Dearest

You see, Darling, Dearest,
Maybe I didn’t mention
the ruins
I hide underneath my hair.
Or that the windows were once whole,
Not stained glass.
Didn’t I show you the stones they threw?
Sometimes I feel like these walls are made of them.

You know, Dearest, I’ve spent
My years running away, and I can’t be trapped
Anymore than I can stay clear of my own ship sinking.
Didn’t I tell you?
The helm and the hull are broken.
The stars are shifting only because I am sinking.

Darling. Dearest. You know
I can’t put my feet down anymore.
And if I try, I tend to sink.

But Listen…
I’m sure of it.
I must have pointed to the cracks…
Can’t you the see the cracks
In the sky.
That’s where the rain comes in.
See?

And this is me forgetting, see…?
Letting the water in.
I should have told you that I would,
That I have a bad memory.
That I hold my breath,
That I tie my stomach into knots,
That I am already glaring at you darkly from the unforgivable future.

Darling. Dearest.
I should have said,
But I can’t put my feet down anymore.
And the water is deeper than you think.